BY MARLEY DORIS
WITHIN the Solomon Islands today, there has been an alarming rate of single parenthood arising which we experience.
Most victims are females which is a very difficult situation, especially when living in a third-world country like the Solomon Islands.
Facing this kind of situation, many single parents turn to all sorts of activities to support their children.
Some may turn to selling betel nuts in the streets while others might turn to selling alcohol or even turning to prostitution to meet their family needs.
While first-world countries or overseas countries see this situation of being a single parent positively, in the Solomon Islands most people negatively see this type of situation.
Whichever the case, here is a single female parent story of Vezinia Saena in which the Solomon Women Newspaper catches up with her during the week.
From Western Province, Vezinia Saena who is a single parent from Kinamara village at Vona Vona lagoon, Western Province shares her experience of what it is like to be a single parent when there is no partner.
Solomon Women Newspaper (SWN): Give brief Background information about yourself?
Vezinia Saena (VS): I come from Kinamara village Vona Vona lagoon at western province. I am 30 years old and a single unemployed mother raising a child.
SWN: For how long have you been a single parent?
VS: I have been a single mother for 12 years. My child and I live with my parents at Kinamara village at Vona Vona lagoon. From Vona Vona Lagoon I decided to move into town to seek means of job employment.
SWN: Describe what being a single parent is like for you?
VS: What a single mother means to me is raising a child by yourself without having the support from a husband and also having a child without a father.
SWN: Tell me about some of the things that you like about being a single parent?
VS: The things I like about being a single parent are being free to move around and not having anyone to control me against my decisions. Also, I am free to set my own rules for my child.
I also enjoy the freedom of chatting with friends and not having any disturbances from a partner.
One thing I also enjoy is living the life of a single parent is not too costly, I don’t spend too much money as it is only me and my child that I focus financially on.
SWN: What can you tell me about your child? How old was he at the time you started being a single-parent?
VS: I have only 1 boy, he was only a month old when my husband left us. He is 12 years old now since we broke up. My main concern for him is his education. He is now in grade six.
SWN: Tell me about some of the things that you dislike about being a single parent?
VS: Some of the things I dislike about being a single parent are not having enough support for school fees for my child and also the thought of my child being fatherless. And also the thought in he might never know his relatives from his father’s side.
SWN: Describe what you do when you’re worried or are concerned about your child?
VS: I attend church programs and always pray to get rid of worries.
SWN: What about support? Whom do you rely on for support when facing this situation?
VS: I only have support from my parents and seek advice from the Children Care Center and Seif Place. Sometimes my uncle helps me which is like a bonus help.
SWN: Describe your daily routine in maintaining your household?
VS: My daily routine every morning is preparing breakfast for my child to go to school. After school, I then go and bring him back home. In the afternoons I normally prepare dinner for my whole family at home.
SWN: Tell me about your family’s living arrangements in your home village. What is your parents’ home village that you lived in before your divorce?
VS: It was at my parent’s home that we lived in before the two of us separated from each other. This is my family’s arrangement. I was never allowed to follow my husband to live with his side of the family.
SWN: How do you experience responsibility for raising your child? What does this mean to you?
VS: For raising a child alone is not an easy responsibility for me. My child needs support from his father. I only usually rely on my parents, this is how my experience through raising my child is.
SWN: Would you describe your relationship with your child?
VS: We have a very strong relationship with each other both physically and spiritually. We watch for each other.
SWN: What do you find most difficult about being a single parent? Tell me about whether there is anyone that you can talk to about your concerns?
VS: The most difficult thing for me as a single parent is sending my child to school. I mean to support him financially. I don’t find anyone to talk to about my concerns. I just live like this.
SWN: How do you experience being both an unemployed mother and a single parent? Do you receive maintenance for your child?
VS: As an unemployed mother and a single parent, I do not receive any maintenance for my child. I already mentioned that most of the time I only rely on assistance from my parents and relatives. Attempts at coping.
SWN: How do you cope with the challenges of being a single parent? Do you feel that you get enough time for yourself? How do you spend your relaxation?
VS: To cope is tough for me because I look after my child alone. I do not have enough time for myself, because most of the time I only do things to support my child. I only relax sometimes by reading novels, and newspapers and watching TV.
SWN: Any encouragement or advice to others who might be victims of this same situation?
VS: I would like to encourage anyone who faces this same situation to make sure in putting God first in your priority for guidance. Some people are willing to help us in talking about this kind of situation like at Seif Place, Social Welfare, Children Care Center and Save the Children, UNICEF.
I want to also warn and advise other girls to make the right decisions in a relationship or they might fall into this same trap. Don’t ever do what I did. You might fall into the same situation as I am facing now.
