DOMESTIC violence occurs when a person uses physical violence, bullying, threats, intimidation, isolation, emotional abuse, sexual abuse or economic abuse to control another partner in a relationship. It can be a single act or a pattern of behavior in relationships, which cover dating, marriage, and family relationships.
Solomon Women Newspaper as a trusted friend interviewed Sandra (Pen-Name) this week as she freely unfold her experiences as a victim of violence.
Solomon Women Newspaper (SWN): Briefly tell me about yourself?
S: I am 34-years-old, a Foreigner, educated but currently unemployed.
SWN: How do you feel about the relationships in your life?
Sandra (S): In my relationship men always cheated me. In my first marriage that was like 13-years-old ago, my first love and husband cheated me by taking another women, just because I had 2 children and was busying working for my family and making a better future of my family. After 12-years-old I got married to a Solomon Islander thinking lie would be easy but it was worse than the first one.
SWN: Are you having any problems with your partner?
S: Yes, problem is he is very jealous about me contacting my friends and family or working any place. Stay at home unemployed and fight for daily needs.
SWN: Domestic violence has so many effects on health, is it true with you?
S: Yes. Violence affects many families. Violence in the home may result in physical and emotional problems for you and your child.
SWN: Can you share your experience?
S: Domestic violence is very disturbing and stressing in life. My experience just last year when I was 7 month pregnant I was physically assault by my husband because he started following his ex-wife for drinking and he fought with me and threated me with a knife which he ended up hurting me just above my chest. Then I took a step and moved out of his life and went and gave birth to my son who is 3 months old at a different place. I used to receive threatening calls from his ex-wife and I used to so emotionally disturbed that’s when all my friends used to comfort me and lord on the other hand was always a big support.
SWN: You mentioned your partner’s problem with temper/stress/drinking. When that happens, has he ever threatened or hurt you?
S: Yes he did several times when he was drank.
SWN: Every couple fights at times – what are your fights like at home? Do the fights ever become physical?
S: My fight with my husband is mostly about his drinking habits because most of the time he ends up using my baby’s money in drinking or smoking without realizing the needs of the family in terms of baby’s needs or food for the house.
SWN: Does your partner ever try to control you by threatening to hurt you or your family?
S: Yes, a lot of times
SWN: Has anyone close to you ever threatened or hurt you?
S: No, not anyone from my family but my partner does most of the time.
SWN: What stresses do you experience in your relationships?
S: Mental stress, can’t sleep and eat.
SWN: Do you feel safe in your relationship?
S: At first instance yes but know not at all.
SWN: Have there been situations in your relationship where you have felt insecure?
S: 99% times yes.
SWN: Anything you wish to share with our readers or other women struggling with relationship?
S: Just a simple advice we women need to come out and address our domestic violence problem and take action against them. Educate all girls to stand on our own to work and support all there family needs without the help of these domestic violent men.
